SALTY BITCH

We all know what salt does. It dehydrates! When that happens, the body goes from oasis to O'crusty! Picture this: your body, once a lush and thriving paradise, suddenly transformed into a barren desert.

Well folks, the same thing happens to your attitude! The moment you become salty, chaos ensues! You dry up like a snail on a plate of Morton's Kosher, crusting up like a booger with each passing minute!

Is that the look you're going for? You want people to talk about you behind your back like

Person 1: "OMG! [insert name] was so salty to me today!"

Person 2: "Who? OH! You mean that bitch with the personality of a crusty booger snail?"

This applies to men, women, kids, grandmas, grandpas... EVERYONE!

DON'T BE A SALTY BITCH!!!!!!!!!!